True story: last night, I had a dream where I was a contestant on a spinoff show of “America’s Top Model“, called “America’s Top Personal Assistant”. One of the show’s contests was we had to have sex with the supermodels, so I was having sex with Tyra Banks and she kept saying “BORING!” and “YAWN” and “YOU ALREADY DID THAT”. And I got mad and quit the show right then and there, and Tyra followed me off the set and told me “You can’t quit, you have to be kicked off!” and I was, like, really mad and tore a strip off of her and made her cry. Then I went to get my “America’s Top Personal Assistant” schwag for being a participant and it was in a dirty cardboard box with my name on it. I got some free deodorant and a coupon for a facial and whole bunch of other cool stuff.